2 Weeks: This Day Started Like Any Other…

…me late for work…procrastinating all morning at my desk, not wanting to do any real work.

I had known for a while now that I was planning on leaving my job. After last week’s HR brutality, I had had enough. But I just needed to figure out an exit plan…just a little bit longer, I told myself. I need to plot out my next move. I need to land that freelance gig. Or maybe I should wait it out here. They did “promise” me a move into creative.

However this day felt oddly different. As I was going through the motions, I suddenly felt like a walking dead person. You know when you should have done something a long time ago? It was like a part of me had already died. I didn’t know what I was waiting for…

It was an indescribable feeling of angst and clarity.

The only way for me to bounce back-  was to quit my job. The sense of urgency on this day was overwhelming. There is no way to describe it. I had to get out and it had to be that day. Even sitting in an ‘Emerging Technologies’ presentation (something I normally would be all over), all I could think about was how to get a hold of my boss to tell her my news. My brain was elsewhere.

I quickly left the prez and headed back to my desk to set up an afternoon call with my boss (who was traveling in D-town). Next, I planned out my “breaking up it’s-not-you-it’s-me” speech. I was damn nervous, but it had to be done. Like ripping off a band-aid.

Getting time with my boss on the phone was a nightmare in itself. She declined my meeting request and was not on the client call we were supposed to have. I can NOT wait until tomorrow!! Luckily by 1:59 pm, she sent me an email asking me to call her before 2:00pm. I frantically jotted down my talking points and glanced at a mini-bottle of Cruzan rum left to me by a previous boss. It sure came in handy then. GULP. I pounded it. Made the call. Said my peace. And it was done. Just like that. Freedom.

Next I called my mom- who surprisingly was calm- she said she expected it, but had only one question “Why today?” I told her I could not explain it.

Then the tears came. I was so incredibly relieved & happy that I did something for myself. I was proud of me. This job was to appease my mom and something to throw back in my father’s face. That I was ‘smart’ and could get a ‘respectable job’. But in the process, I had lost touch of my true creative self. Yes, advertising is creative in nature, but account management I had learned, is far more removed.

That is why when I heard my mother’s placid response, it was validation that I was my own person. It meant she no longer felt the need to lecture me or scold me about my irresponsible and erratic behavior. It made me that much more confident that I made the right decision. An adult decision. She trusted me.

There was a spring in my step as I walked home that day.

@2 years ago